Coins, yo

There’s nothing quite like receiving tips for doing a rather tedious job, especially when you’re given handfuls of coins at random. Sure, I get my share of the useless Canadian coins every now and then, but every so often I get something badass. Like this coin:

(Look at that effortless coiffed hair, and that smirk! All encased in gold. You and I can only hope to be so awesome some day.)

I got a Millard Filmore dollar coin thrown in amongst my Canadian pennies and South Dakota quarters about two weeks ago. (Why do so many state quarters have buffalo bison on them?) I instantly got a raging lady boner. I mean, look at that coin! How can anyone let this precious beauty out of their grasp? I mean, I immediately went home from the Krusty Krab* and took a nap on the couch with the gleaming, wondrous thing in my tightly curled fist, or I just so happened to pass out on the couch after serving people food all day with it in my pocket. Suffice to say, the couch ate my Millard Filmore dollar coin when I was asleep and I am still mourning his loss. One day I will become proactive and actually go seek my coinage where it lays hidden in the plush blue folds of my living room furniture.

My lady boner still rages for the coin, though. This man was the last official Whig to take office and he was a member of the Know Nothing Party – way to be outrageously honest and still completely fail at winning re-election. Awesome never looked so polished.

Today I got a John Tyler dollar coin. I just threw him in with my coin cup with Adams, Adams, and Washington, my Kennedy half dollar didn’t look too amused. Tyler just isn’t as boner inducing as Filmore (gee, I wonder why?)

*I in fact, do not work at the real Krusty Krab with Spongebob, though I do a rather awesome Squidward impression most days without even trying.


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